Tuesday, March 31, 2015

Possessed miners on Mars

First Appearance: John Carpenter's Ghosts of Mars (2001)

A couple of police officers on Mars need to transport a criminal to a remote mining settlement. When they get there it turns out all the miners have been possessed by Martian ghosts. A siege ensues.
This movie is as close as you can get to being a Western as possible with out actually having it set in the old west, using horses or having the heroes fight "injuns." Still wondering when John Carpenter's just going to make that Western he seems to want to make.
Also of note it features a score by John Carpenter (on synthesizer) and a bunch of heavy metal guitarits, including Robin Finck, Steve Vai and Buckethead, and the rest of Anthrax.

Friday, March 27, 2015

Fung Weng Wu Chi

First appearance: Master of the Flying Guillotine (1976)

Sequel to One-Armed Boxer. In this one the master of the two Tibetan Lamas killed by the One–armed Boxer in the previous movie stalks OAB to a tournament. He kills a bunch of guys with is flying guillotine. Lots of Kung-Fu shenanigans ensue. Also features an Indian Yogi with extendable arms!

Dave Sheldon (Winterbeast)

First appearance: Winterbeast (1991)

Some forest rangers stumble upon some kind of nefarious lodge owner who's some how summoning monsters or something? I'm not really sure what's happening in this movie. It was shot over sixteen years on various formats and includes a bunch of randomly inserted stop motion monster attacks. characters facial hair changes between shots due to the length of time it took to film the movie. Locations change during conversations where characters aren't moving. It definitely falls into the category of "It Must Be Seen To Be Believed!"

Friday, March 13, 2015

Jason X

First appearance: Jason X (2001)

Some time in the future a bunch of teens on a school trip to earth find the frozen body of notorious serial killer Jason Voorhees. They bring him back aboard their space ship to get extra credit on their report about infamous 20th century serial killers or something. Eventually Jason wakes up and does what Jason tends to do. At least until a robot shoots him a bunch of times.
But then a computer decides to put him back together. Unleashing Jason X!

Can you believe it took TEN movies to get Jason Voorhees into outer space? Even stranger can you believe David Cronenberg is in this?!

Not the worst of the Friday the 13ths but also not the best.

Thursday, March 12, 2015

Mary Mason

First appearance: American Mary (2012)

Mary Mason is a med student training to be a surgeon but can't quite pay the bills. She tries to get a job at a strip club only to be drawn into the weird and lucrative world of Underground black market EXTREME body modification! Horror and madness ensue!

Wednesday, March 11, 2015

Mr. Babadook

First appearance: The Babadook (2014)

Amelia's having a hard time raising her son, born the same day her husband died. Her son's kinda weird and likes making weapons to defend her from monsters. One night her son asks if he can choose the storybook for bedtime reading and hands his mom a mysterious red pop-up book called MR. BABADOOK. She has no idea where the book came from and it's creepy. Really creepy.
suddenly mysterious things start happening around the house and her son blames The Babadook.
Things get worse from there.
Where did the book come from? Is there a way to stop The Babadook?

The movie's got a reputation of being the scariest movie ever, but it may not be the movie you're expecting. It's really good, but I don't think I'd call it scary.

Monday, March 2, 2015

What is the Void?

First appearance: The Void (2016?)

There's a movie being made called "The Void" from the guys who made "Manborg."
The difference between "Manborg" and "The Void" is "The Void" is going to be terrifying. You can help make the Void even more terrifying by donating some money so they can make more monsters for the movie. Check out their Indie-Go-Go campaign, and give generously. The world needs more Terrifying Monster movies. While I know the guys making the movie, I am not involved personally and only wish to see them accomplish this crazy flick.